(un)expected joy

after a few days of finally feeling good,
i was hit hard with a day of feeling really bad...
all day nausea, overwhelming fatigue,
and not just that, but feeling really bad for myself, as well.
so after surviving lunch... feeding everyone and force feeding myself,
mara joy took a blissfully long nap,
and the rest of us settled in a for a children's film on the couch.
the kids decided to learn about a different culture every month,
and this month it's japan.
(the cherry blossom festival is happening around town.)
well, for the last two months, i decided we would get
as much use as we could out of our netflix account...
viewing children's films from our country of the month...
and hopefully surviving the first trimester in the process.
anyway, while the kids were drawn into a sweet film
about a girl who loves to read and yearns to write,
i rested on the couch and, well, felt bad... for myself.
and while i was lying there, i felt the first tumble of baby in my belly.
one might imagine, after five times, this is not quite so exhilarating...
in fact, i don't think i had even thought about feeling movement yet,
but as soon as i felt it, i knew what it was,
and i felt overjoyed... and pretty guilty, as well.
my suffering has been far from in vain,
and God reminded me of that just at the time i needed it.
another person will be a part of the world because of it...
another child... a completely unique creation,
with the potential to love God and love people.
enough said... i'll just need to read this a few times
to remind myself in the next few weeks.

happy (belated) birthday, micah!

well, we didn't celebrate belatedly...

but, i'm certainly belated in posting about it...

thanks to finally beginning to come out

of the dark tunnel of first trimester nausea,

but enough about me...

happy birthday micah!

micah turned 5 last month and is becoming quite a big kid...

thankfully, though, he is still my best cuddler,

and i have no doubt he will be a wonderful husband, but

a challenging teenager in the wild world of teenage girls :).

(for now, i'm glad he's 5, not 15.)

he is more of a tried and true boy than joel and i probably

would have imagined we could call our own,

as he loves sports of every sort and could actually play with a ball for hours.

yet, he is not tough, but very tender...

a bit too sensitive for a tough 3 year old sister on most days :).

his latest unexpected development, though, has been

numbers and letters of all sorts...

our day is filled with little comments like,

"mom, did you know two sixes make twelve?" or

the sudden appearance of a paper on which he has

precisely copied the name of his favorite cereal from the box.

(yes, his undying passion for food has remained!)

but, his natural interest in letters and numbers

has deepened my faith in this lifestyle of natural learning we're pursuing here.

while elias asked to be taught to read at 4 1/2 and loved workbooks (!?!),

micah has had little interest in all of the traditional modalities of education,

and my heart, and all those books i read :), told me to trust him,

keep our home rich with opportunities and go with it...

and, all on his own, he is putting together numbers and beginning to read and write.

kind of amazing and serving to remind me i'm grateful for all those

long, exhausting, and sometimes exhilarating days of homeschooling all these little ones.